Sunday, May 10, 2015

I Am a Mother!

For all my single girls, marrieds without kids and those whose wombs will forever be empty...

As Mother's Day approcahes I often get a little nostalgic. Everyone is making plans for how they're going to celebrate and how they will surprise their mom. My mother passed away when I was 28. I'm almost a couple of decades past that now, but I still miss her. I don't despise the plans of others or wish they'd keep it to themselves. Life and death are part of our existence and we shouldn't let the latter overshadow the first.

Yet this Mother's Day something is amiss. I've had a gnawing in my spirit for a few weeks leading up to the big parade of moms in all their finery, full restaurants with mothers in the spotlight and little kids trying, for this one very special day, to be on their best behavior because mom deserves at least that on this day of all days. 

I've been thinking about you - your hearts, your longings, your pain and disappointments and mostly, how lonely many of you feel on Mother's Day. This is that day when the sting of words, glaring stares, confused looks and inconsiderate words come back to haunt you. You know the ones I'm talking about because they're etched in your mind and some still prick your heart..

"Why haven't you had kids yet? Don't you want them?" Or in my case, "You've NEVER had kids?"

"You wouldn't understand because you don't have kids."

Or my very least favorite. "Well that's because you don't have kids!"

No one sees the tears you cry in secret because of the pain in your heart to bear children. No one understands the choices you've made, least of all moms, that have lead you to where you are. No one but you know what God's called you to, and sometimes even you wonder about that.

Whether you are single by choice or like me, still waiting, childless by choice or still praying, barren or awaiting the call that will fill your arms with a child, please hear me today. You are significant. Your life matters! THERE IS GREAT VALUE IN YOU TODAY.

Never long for the life of another. You might be surprised how much they covet yours. Embrace your own unique journey. You will never have the freedom and opportunities you do now. Enjoy them! Cherish them! Honor the Lord through them.

Good moms are not born. They're taught. Whether you were privileged to be raised by one or not, start mothering where you are. Take a younger woman under your wing. Pour into her. Love on a few babies. Help a young mom out. Do for others what you'd want if you were in their shoes. Use your life to bless others while you wait for your own blessing to come. 

Do not lament what you don't have. Rejoice in God's goodness to you today! He gives in abundance where gratefulness abides. As you give thanks for what is good in your life, your desire may not fade but your spirit will find peace with your today. God is not punishing you with barrenness or singleness. You are not suffering the plight and stigma of empty arms. You are simply holding out for God's goodness to you while your arms find their way around another daughter or son to love. 

Do what many busy moms cannot. Give yourself away, mothering the motherless, or whomever the Lord puts in your path. Oh, the power of your voice and the impact of your influence. You don't have to have children to be a mother.

I am a 46 year old single woman who has never married. I love my life, although I remain hopeful for a mate. With the current baby boom going on in our church, I figured it was time for a grandma name because I'm not having babies! I have long since come to terms with that. So a little over a year ago, a friend  helped me choose Ebby because I'm the ebony grandma! 

I love hearing my name being called out by sweet little voices, and on days like today, I love being honored by seeing my little ones dressed in outfits given to them by their Ebby. It blesses me to no end! I wonder. If I had let my despair for motherhood overshadow my love for life, would my heart be so full today - this Mother's Day? I doubt it.

Allow your current circumstance to groom you for the person you wish to become. Don't allow the enemy's lies to keep your heart filled with sorrow. Step into the innate desire within us all - every woman, to nurture and to care for someone. It's embedded within you.

Someone spoke this over me this morning and it broke me.

Your words can touch where a mother's cannot, even though they've said the same thing over and over to their children. Your life makes a difference. Your words matter. You are not broken because you're not a mom. Your life is a beautiful gift waiting to be poured out. Share it today.